Why Getting Over a Breakup Can Be Difficult After 50​

When Marjorie’s second marriage crumbled, “the stakes were higher: more money, shared real estate, two kids,” she says. “I didn’t drink. I didn’t sleep around. I just had too many

responsibilities.” Such responsibilities — plus changed priorities — tend to make a heartbroken person more resilient, Greer notes: “A man or woman in their 50s is more likely to bend, not

break,” under the stress of a shattered relationship than someone younger is. That’s how it worked for Joe Casale, a former sports agent in Delray Beach, Florida. “Heartbreak in my 20s:

devastated, but time is on my side,” he wrote in a Facebook message. “Heartbreak in my 50s: more devastated, realizing time is not on my side. Then, you realize it’s not about how much time

you have, but what you do with the time you have. That’s when the light bulb goes on. You realize that, like fine wine, you are better with age.” TAKE STOCK AND HEAL Therapists who work with

newly single people may suggest a three-pronged strategy for healing. Still, all the self-knowledge in the world can’t eliminate the pain of rejection by a life partner — or the need to

take stock and heal. 1. TAKE IN THE FULL PICTURE. “Recognize that this loss is layered upon other losses,” Gottlieb advises. “Usually you’re not just grieving a particular person — you’re

grieving the accumulation of losses over the years,” including compromises made and opportunities forgone to make the relationship work. 2. DISCONNECT FROM YOUR EX. “If you’re still caught

up in the anger, the rejection or abandonment, you are unwittingly connected to that person,” Greer says. Letting go means minimizing contact if you have kids together or cutting off contact

if you don’t. It can be excruciating, but it works. “Recently I had a birthday, and I ended up getting a text from my ex,” Bender says. “Not answering it was one of the best things I’ve

done.”