Electile dysfunction: the inability to be aroused by any political party

When I came to vote in the European Elections there wasn’t a political party I could put a cross next to – a first for me. I’m not a communist, white supremacist or anywhere near the lunatic

fringe. I’m ever-so-slightly to the right of centre with boring political heroes like Frank Field and Chris Patten. I’m the Mondeo man Tony Blair appealed to in 1998 and the type of person

Cameron’s failed ‘Big Society’ was written for in 2010. Throughout my life politicians have been crawling across hot coals for my vote . . . but they’re now blowing me the proverbial

raspberry.

I was Remain at the 2016 referendum but believe we should respect the result and exit the EU. This should be done with a deal which will take compromise on all sides. Hurtling toward a hard

Brexit solution is something which fills me with fear . . . but so does incinerating the last three years of history and turbulence by discarding the referendum result. ‘When walking through

hell . . . keep walking’.

I assume, after the leadership election, the Conservative Party position will be on a no-deal trajectory – so I can’t vote for them. From the centre ground the Brexit Party and UKIP look

politically delinquent. The Liberal Democrats are desperately trying to reverse history, but more to the point, they’re a joke with Change UK the punchline. I can’t vote for Labour as Corbyn

doesn’t know his position on Brexit because Karl Marx makes no mention of the EU. The environment concerns me, so I was toying with the Green Party but woke up and realised I’m neither a

student nor a teacher.

UK politics is killing off ardent centre ground voters, such as myself, and I have no political home. It’s a shame as we’re the people boring enough to demand stable progression not

revolution through revulsion.

The most sense spoken in the last year was by the Queen: “As we look for new answers in the modern age, I for one prefer the tried and tested recipes, like speaking well of each other and

respecting different points of view; coming together to seek out the common ground; and never losing sight of the bigger picture. To me, these approaches are timeless, and I commend them to

everyone.” However, the ruddy unwritten constitution means she’s there for life and I can’t vote for her.

My only option was, therefore, to spoil my ballot paper. It’s the get out of gaol free card for a ‘wet’ like me. I still exercise my democratic right but make no decision at all!

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