Seek First To Understand. If only we could stop jumping to… | by Gail Boenning | 100 Naked Words | Medium

Seek First To UnderstandGail BoenningFollow2 min read·May 25, 2016 --

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If only we could stop jumping to conclusions, making assumptions and passing judgement. This morning while driving my teen to school, I did not seek to understand before jumping to a

conclusion. To make things worse, it was the second time I did it in a week. Maybe I have learned my lesson now? Fingers crossed.

I have agreed to free my son from the drudgery of the school bus for the remainder of the school year. This offer came with two conditions. First, his room would be picked up every day.

Second, he agreed not to look at his cell phone during the drive. It is a great time for us to talk. It makes it worth the extra daily drive for me.

This morning, he had his phone out and I started in with “You know the rule. Put the phone away. Maybe I shouldn’t drive you tomorrow.” I should have started with ‘”What are you looking

for?”

It turns out he was checking his baseball practice schedule so that he could tell me what time he needed to be picked up. Not instagram or snapchat. It was only the baseball schedule.

Last week when I had my crabby rant he was forwarding me a picture he took of a bird on our windowsill. I wrote a post about it.

https://medium.com/100-naked-words/ive-named-him-3c607d177dc1?source=linkShare-4d3a3cc850d4-1464201669

I should have asked. I should have been curious. I should not have assumed he was recklessly breaking my rule. Both times he was doing something for me.

I apologized. Both times. Now that I have written about it, I hope to put that mistake behind me.