What to Do When Your Parents Refuse to Take Their Pills

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Not taking prescriptions properly can affect your loved one’s quality of life.

The problem often happens when a disease or several diseases — such as diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol — are chronic. Researchers have estimated up to half of those with

long-term conditions stop, reduce or irregularly take their medications.

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“Depending on the medication, not taking it as prescribed can be dangerous and even life threatening,” says Nancy Avitabile, a social worker and geriatric care manager in New York. According

to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly half a million people over 65 visit emergency rooms every year due to adverse effects from medication, and they are seven times as

likely to need hospitalization from these events as a younger person. “That’s why it’s important to … recognize when your loved one isn’t taking medicines as prescribed [and learn] what you

can do about it,” Avitabile says.

If you’re worried your loved one isn’t taking their medication, look for indications of problems, such as prescriptions overdue for a refill with a large number of pills remaining, or

complaints about symptoms that the medicine should have alleviated, says Kemi Reeves, a nurse practitioner at UCLA Health in Los Angeles. Ask the pharmacy how often refills are being

requested.

“Just because someone isn’t taking medications doesn’t mean they don’t want to,” says Reeves, whose specialty is geriatrics and dementia. They may be concerned about the expense, in denial

about their illness, have memory lapses, be struggling with depression or face unpleasant side effects such as dizziness, lingering bad taste, bloating or upset stomach.

your loved one

Strive for undivided attention. Start by finding a quiet place to talk, turning off radios and TVs, and keeping other distractions at bay. You may be upset, but keep your body language

relaxed.

Participants in Medicare drug plans who take as few as two prescriptions, have multiple chronic conditions and expect prescription costs to exceed $4,935 in 2023 and $5,330 in 2024 may be

eligible for medication therapy management services through their Part D or Medicare Advantage plans.

The program includes a yearly comprehensive medication review with a pharmacist, a written summary, and quarterly targeted medication reviews to address problems or potential problems.

Qualifications differ depending on the prescription drug plan provider, so learn more from your loved one’s insurer.

Pay attention. “To understand why the medication isn’t being taken properly, listen actively and respectfully,” says Mari Umpierre, a psychotherapist and a director of employee wellness

programs at Mount Sinai Health System in New York.

Acknowledge your loved one’s point of view, she says. But point out that a pharmacist’s instructions must be followed for a medicine to be effective.

Look for solutions together. Offer to work on reminders for pills and remedies to combat side effects. If you get pushback, return to the discussion later.

“Avoid a power struggle and distract them by doing something else, like taking a walk,” Umpierre says. “Then come back and use a different strategy.”