Can she pass her first manifestation challenge? | members only

_This is the second in a three-part series. Read Bellows' first column, which covers her introduction to manifestation, __here__._ It’s the moment I’ve been waiting for — my first

keynote speech, a paid opportunity booked by my new agent. This is my big chance to launch a lucrative side hustle and leave unemployment behind. But nerves are taking over. I barely slept,

and the six-hour time difference between Washington, D.C., and Mallorca, Spain, has my body clock in turmoil. At 2:30 a.m. my time, my heart pounds as the tech adjusts my mic. The emcee

introduces me. I step onto the stage, jittery from too much coffee, staring into blinding lights. The room is packed with 300 travel tech executives, but I can’t see past the first row. My

carefully prepared slides guide me, but my throat tightens, and I stumble over the data. A bearded man in the front row yawns. The emcee interrupts me to hand me water, her expression

confirming what I fear — I’m bombing. A full-blown panic attack strikes, but I must push through the next 45 minutes, plus 15 for a Q&A. Finally, it’s over. I sit back down in the

audience, deflated and drained, cortisol surging through my system. No one offers a word of encouragement. It’s one of the lowest professional moments of my life. But I know exactly what to

do next, thanks to the new technique I learned through my manifestation coaching. Melina Bellows during her presentation to 300 travel tech executives in Mallorca, Spain. She initially

thought that she'd bombed on stage. But after some reflection, she realized that maybe she didn't. Courtesy Melina Bellows ROLL THE TAPE BACK Ten days earlier, writer and mentor

Suzanne Eder and I had our second Zoom session on manifestation, the practice of using positive thoughts to improve your life. I was in a dark place that morning, and not for the first time.

Over the years, I’ve learned to smack away the blues by prioritizing sleep, healthy eating, exercise, girl talk and a low dose of anti-depressant. But with so much uncertainty about my

home, job and future, discouragement prevailed. My setbacks were like the thought version of earworms, those catchy tunes stuck on repeat in your head. Several promising house showings fell

through, prompting you’re never going to sell your house. Worse, the slides for my upcoming keynote suddenly needed major overhauling, spurring you’ll blow your big chance and publicly

humiliate yourself in front of 300 people. (Little did I know …) “I wish I could be more flexible about the things in my life that are out of my control,” I lamented to Eder. “Watch the

self-judgment —  it never helps,” she said gently, and not for the first time. Apparently, it’s my pattern. “Reach for the happiest thought that you can. The better we feel, the better life

goes. Identifying what you want pre-paves your future.” This is the big theme of her TED Talk, “The Dark Side of Self-Improvement.” Eder coaches me to make healthy choices with my thoughts,

just as I do with my other habits. Positive self-talk is one of the three keys to manifesting, along with visualizing and acting “as if” until you truly believe it. WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO BE

GENTLE WITH YOURSELF The benefit of positive self-talk is well known. As we grow up, our minds are “programmed” by experiences and the messages we receive. Cognitive behavior therapy is a

therapeutic approach designed to identify and challenge negative thought patterns. It counters negativity bias, a natural tendency to focus on negative stimuli. By replacing harmful

self-talk with optimistic and constructive language that emphasizes success and personal responsibility, we can rewire our brains. According to neuroscience, creating new neural connections

through repeated positive thinking can help overcome negativity, as neurons that fire together wire together.